Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Just Not Enough Time

Sometimes you don't have time to say goodbye. Sometimes it may be better that way. My good friend lost his life to pancreatic cancer last night. It was a very painful time and the last few months have been extremely difficult for him.

I was distraught when I found out because he didn't want to tell anyone until he had all the details (and yet I found out through well meaning family members). I was distraught right after the announcement, I saw him right after when a large community of friends and family came together to pray for him. Then, he had already lost a lot of weight and looked like an old man. But none of that can compare to how I feel now. He was in a lot of pain, so I'm grateful that he can be at peace now. But it hits me like a ton of bricks when I think of things to tell him. An article we would have shared. Seeing his screen name still active today on my chat. The fact that there's a Mac Announcement today that he's missing (at least he can say that to the very end he had the LATEST, an early adopter but never a fan boy). And mostly, the fact that I was going to see you in the next two days, whether you wanted me there or not.

Herman, my friend, I wish that I had a chance to say goodbye but in some ways maybe it was better. The disease had really hurt him and at least my memories can be of laughter and smiles, just as he always was. Be at peace, buddy.

1 comment:

Autumn said...

I'm sad for your loss. I hear pancreatic cancer can be quite lethal, so much so that I hate to hear of anyone diagnosed with it.